Good evening, darlings! How are you all?
I have to report a remarkable change in mood from the past few days: I am happy.
I finally could spend two days in the countryside with A - which we needed both as individuals and as a couple - my boss was in the office all day and I had fun working with him... in short, things are going well.
First of all, the countryside. We spent the laziest days I could enjoy lately. We walked around barefoot, sunbathe, dined with candles (there was a storm, and electricity went out for a few hours), cooked together, listened to thunder and rain in the evening. We needed to reestablish contact between us, to talk and cuddle and laugh together without thinking about anything - no pressure, no work, no problems. I realized once again that I truly want to be with him, he makes me feel calm, relaxed. He makes me laugh, which is the best gift he could give me. Now I feel I can wait and stand the bad periods, the problems, all that will come (and trust me, it will. He'd need to be a monster to not be affected - and fully aware of what he is doing and why).Second: work. The boss was in the office today, and I had a very busy and very satisfying day. I worked hard, but I like it. I enjoy my work, so full days like this one make me feel satisfied.Moreover, I had a glimpse of what my future life will be- and I guess I liked it. He's hard but reasonable, very demanding - and it will be a challenge. Maybe it's because I started taking ginseng capsules every morning again, but I feel quite confident.I know these things depend largely on myself: when I am positive and active things go well. A little break in my "defenses" usually means that plans will not be realized, people will get angry, etc. It's amazing how the mind can influence our perception of things, and therefore things themselves.
Now I'm sitting in the dark, with a cup of coffee and a cigarette, tap-tapping away on my laptop. It's hot, but I don't mind. I went to the gym tonight (endorphines galore!), so I'm all sweaty and smelly anyway.
Due to my over-enthusiasm about leaving, of course on Friday I forgot my camera at home, so I cannot offer you any picture of the house or the countryside... all I can give you are pictures reflecting my current mood (yes, it's the sea again...)
These I took during a weekend in Cervo - a wonderful old village in eastern Liguria. It's a small village perched on the hills, not far from the sea, all made of stones and full of cats wandering around freely and enjoying cuddles and food from all tourists and passers-by. Quite a remarkable experience. The last picture proudly serves as wallpaper for my PC; it always makes me think of happy times.
I'm being rhetorical and sweeter than saccharine, my darlings, so I'll leave you. The shower calls and I cannot disappoint it.
Sleep well, darlings!